Journal

 Food

• Breakfast: Can of Dr. Pepper
• Lunch: n/a
• Dinner: Chef Boyardee ravioli

Sleep night before: 12 hrs 5/5 stars

Exercise: none

Med tracker: no

Thoughts:

[1:16 am] I want to get off my computer and do things around the house. But I also want to work on my story stuff. I got on this computer around 10:30am and have yet to even open the darn thing … I looked at vintage advertisement to use for my Tumblr icon and read articles. I never log on and immediately start working on what I originally plan on working on.

[6:10pm] Went through some stuff in the basement with my boyfriend. Stuff that I need to drop off is in my car, and some of the garage sale stuff is in the garage. Went through my movies again and got rid of another stack. We’ve agreed on what we’re doing in the dining room, so once all the garage sale stuff is out we can move our old table into the basement.

Thankful for: My niece and nephew

  so-over-ableism:

Selma Blair stunning us all with her dress and cane shows you can be chronically ill/disabled and still be fabulous

 

Journal

 Food

• Breakfast: Cherries
• Lunch: Salad, pasta with red sauce
• Dinner: none

Sleep night before: 10 hrs 5/5 stars

Exercise: none

Med tracker: yes

Thoughts: I ate a plate full of salad and a plate full of pasta for lunch and didn’t get bloated. That never happens! I’d normally feel sick after eating all that. The acid medication I’ve started using is awesome!

Now that I’m not feeling sick I can start working on my diet. It’s easier to make a meal plan when food doesn’t repulse you.

Thankful for: My pa.

 

Journal

 Food:

• Breakfast: 8 chicken wings and a can of Dr. Pepper
• Lunch: cherries
• Dinner: buttered noodles

Sleep night before: 8 hrs 4/5 stars

Exercise: none

Meds: anxiety & antacid

Med tracker: yes

Thoughts: I’m very good at planning things, but very bad at doing them. I will use up my time planning what I need to get done and never have time to do it and then I’m rushing around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Like this moment. I should have washed my hair three hours ago; I told myself I was going to wash my hair three hours ago, and now I have to leave in an hour and I have yet to get off my computer because I was busy setting up this blog to motivate myself to do things like wash my hair.

I’m the type who puts emphasis on outside forces as excuses for why I’m able to do or not do things, and I need to stop doing that. I need to put more emphasis on myself in ways other than to demean myself. I’ve had depression since I can remember and it’s dominated my thought pattern. I’m on meds now as an adult but I’m not consistent with taking them. I take them, do better, and then feel like I don’t need them and stop taking them - it’s not a conscious choice, it’s a out-of-sight-out-of-mind kind of thing.

Thankful for: The ability to start over