So since my stomach is messed up again (it was finally not messed up yesterday…) I’ve decided to postpone my three hour road trip to tomorrow.
Part of me wishes I had my Vivosmart before I changed ventilators so I could compare.
I have to do more research to understand what I’m seeing, but I’m confused by how little deep sleep I get. I thought deep sleep is when your body recharges - it doesn’t seem like I get a lot of it yet I feel well rested. A part of why I changed ventilators is because I was no longer feeling rested after a night’s sleep - the settings weren’t working anymore and since the model was so old we decided it was a good time to update.
Since I was dog sitting over the weekend I decided to skip the gym on Sunday. Not exactly disappointed with myself because I know my limits, but I also want to hold myself accountable.
So this is me holding myself accountable.
Had an appointment with my gastroenterologist today and he’s thinking I have gastroparesis - basically my stomach doesn’t empty well. I have to go for a gastric emptying test.
He was glad to hear the Prilosec has improved my bloating and appetite. Since it’s not meant to be a long term med, once we get my symptoms under control he’ll be tapering me off it and we’ll manage it in other ways.
He was saying about eating smaller, light meals through out the day. Basically, I need to rebuild my childhood eating habits. Habits that I destroyed when I was in college.
I wore it last night and was happy with the information I got from it. The only thing I’m not happy with is its stress reader; it keeps saying my level is high when I’m not stressed, but that will probably correct itself as it gathers more data.
Bonus: My RoadID tags fit on it ♡ … they’re not easy to get on, but they’re on so I’m not having to wear two bracelets.
I’m avoiding what I need to do today because I’m scared. I’m scared of messing up, letting people down, letting myself down, and its weighing on me like giant sandbags on my back.
I need to breathe through the tightness in my chest and move more than just may thumbs as I type this.
My fitness goal is to get where I was when I graduated high school. That was the healthiest / most fit I’ve ever been.
I want to have enough upper body strength to do a chin up, and I want enough flexibility to lay forward while doing a split - I was there once, I know its possible.
Today’s going to be a slow day at the gym; I’m so tired from yesterday. But it was such a good day ^.^
I was just looking at my post about my wardrobe and added up all the numbers. I have 46 pieces of clothing on that rack … that seems like a lot.
I’ll see if I can pare it down between now and next fall. The halter tops are the only tops I dont wear all year long.
So my therapist is starting to think I have OCD since I have difficulty starting things because I hyper focus on other things I think need to be done first, or I hyper focus on not being able to do it to my imaginary standard so I shut down.
I remember during one of my first sessions with him I was telling him about my bullet journal and he asked if I had OCD and I said no. That was three years ago.
I don’t think I do … I have ADHD which can make it hard to switch between tasks, but would that explain the hyper focus till I shut down?
Either way, my anxiety meds are also used by people with OCD I guess, so they should help with that aspect as well.
Lemonade ice cubes worked! They’re more of a slightly frozen slush instead of a solid piece of ice, but they keep their shape! It melted into the tea within 20 seconds no joke; the time it took me to put the tray in the freezer was enough for it to completely liquefy.
And it tastes good.
I was complaining to a friend about how much I was pissing from the tea and she pointed out that an increase of any liquid is going to up my bathroom visits until my body adjusts to drinking more. Guess I have to stick it out.
I wish my dog didn’t bark so much when people come over.
I wish even more that I didn’t get frazzled so easy in regards to leaving my house.
I also wish I was better with my medication because I wouldn’t have the second issue. (I’m working on this.)
I was helping a friend at an outdoor market and got really dizzy. It wasn’t hot out, I wasn’t in direct sunlight, but a few hours in I felt like I was on a boat. I ignored it for a few minutes, stood up and noticed my balance was off. As I walked to get food I had to struggle to walk a straight line - while hoping people didn’t notice and think I was drunk.
We ended up leaving early because I wasn’t getting better and the crowd was slow (I was going to call for a ride home).
My boyfriend cooked me pasta and chicken broth which helped.
Need suggestions:
On the way home my friend and I talked about ways I can get myself to drink more water. I don’t like the taste of it, and sometimes I don’t like the taste of tea. (I’m going to make those lemonade ice cubes today.)
We talked about drinks that have electrolytes, maybe mixing it with water to dilute them, or getting those powders that you mix in.
We have fresh lemons so to start with I’ll cut those up and throw them in water. If that doesn’t work for more than a week I’ll go on from there.
JoAnn Fabric’s has witch’s limbs that you can stick in your yard and I was *this* close to buying a set of legs because who wouldn’t want the aesthetic of a cartoon witch buried headfirst in your garden??
I went to a farmer’s market with a friend and though I was eyeing a head of lettuce (because I should eat more greens), I didn’t get it because I know I won’t eat it. I won’t put the time into cutting it up for later, and if I do I’ll forget about it until its bad.
Ex 1) The container of blue berries my boyfriend got me earlier in the week began to mold before I touched it.
Ex 2) Last time I bough lettuce I made a point to prep it into grab jars, and it failed. It was slimy and gross by the time I went to eat it *several days later* … and I just kept thinking about that.
I did get a container of fresh lemonade! I’m going to try freezing some as ice cubes for my tea … instead of squeezing fresh lemons. It sounds weird and it was a spur-of-the-moment decision, but it’s locally made and they use glass containers that you can return, which is something I want to support.
I want a life …
Yesterday:
So last night I tried some pizza from a place that I haven’t had in a while, and man the grease! My stomach hasn’t been happy since the weekend because of Labor Day food, but last night topped it off. Don’t think I’ll be getting pizza from there again.
Today:
This morning I had tea for breakfast. I used to have tea every morning a long time ago but got out of the habit. It doesn’t satisfy my tastebuds anymore, much like how water tastes disgusting to me now. I might start adding fresh lemon juice, which means I need to buy a lemon.
How long is squeezed lemon juice good for? According to KeepTasty.com it is 2-3 days if properly stored and refrigerated. Or 3-4 if frozen.
Since I like using ice cubes to cool it down I can try making them out of lemon juice. A practical way of extending shelf life!
I can fit my everyday wardrobe on one rack! I wear these clothes all year long; I don’t keep winter-vs-summer wardrobes.
I’m left with:
I have two racks and a basket that I keep my clothes, so now I can remove one rack and actually be able to empty out the basket.
The clothing I removed was sorted between “don’t want” and “unsure.” The unsure pile has been stashed away out of sight - if I go looking for an item I’ll add it back in. Next spring, the items that haven’t been added back in will be donated.
