I’m avoiding what I need to do today because I’m scared. I’m scared of messing up, letting people down, letting myself down, and its weighing on me like giant sandbags on my back.
I need to breathe through the tightness in my chest and move more than just may thumbs as I type this.
My fitness goal is to get where I was when I graduated high school. That was the healthiest / most fit I’ve ever been.
I want to have enough upper body strength to do a chin up, and I want enough flexibility to lay forward while doing a split - I was there once, I know its possible.
Today’s going to be a slow day at the gym; I’m so tired from yesterday. But it was such a good day ^.^
I was just looking at my post about my wardrobe and added up all the numbers. I have 46 pieces of clothing on that rack … that seems like a lot.
I’ll see if I can pare it down between now and next fall. The halter tops are the only tops I dont wear all year long.
So my therapist is starting to think I have OCD since I have difficulty starting things because I hyper focus on other things I think need to be done first, or I hyper focus on not being able to do it to my imaginary standard so I shut down.
I remember during one of my first sessions with him I was telling him about my bullet journal and he asked if I had OCD and I said no. That was three years ago.
I don’t think I do … I have ADHD which can make it hard to switch between tasks, but would that explain the hyper focus till I shut down?
Either way, my anxiety meds are also used by people with OCD I guess, so they should help with that aspect as well.
